My husband turned my children against me!

(NNPA)—Dear Gwendolyn:

I am now in my 60’s and my health is failing and I need a rapport with my children. Thirty-five years ago I left my husband for another man. My newfound friend told me that he did not want baggage. Therefore, I had no choice except to leave my children behind. Last year when I contacted my husband to ask him if I could see the children, he said no.

Gwendolyn, I feel he has taught the children against me. I was, however, able to talk with them as they are adults living in their own place and two are married. I knew his opinion, but I discovered the children’s reply was as that of my husband’s—“No.”


Six months after leaving my husband and children, my new friend dumped me for another woman. I became addicted to drugs and fell into the lifestyle as being “a lady of the night.” My husband never remarried and did a fine job of bringing up the children. But now I feel I should be accepted back into their lives—after all, I am their mother. What do you think?—Jeanine

Dear Jeanine:

I believe you need to rethink your situation. You cannot go away as a young lady of the wild wild west and return years later as a loving guardian angel of a mom. He may have poisoned their mind, but your actions poisoned their heart. Make one more attempt for your children to accept you, but if they don’t, let it be.

Jeanine, you mentioned that you had no choice but to take a life on the street. Wrong, really wrong. You could have returned to your children even if you no longer had feelings for your husband. They needed you then. They don’t need you now. The forgiving heart people had years ago no longer exists. Let me tell you this: So many women, like yourself, live the soap opera life of “The Young and the Restless” and years later want a rapport with “All My Children.”

(Have a problem? Write Gwendolyn Baines at: P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 [to receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope] or e-mail her at: Got a son age 10-17? Help him to choose college not jail. Order “Decisions in the life of a growing male youth.” To order go to:

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