People make me feel stupid

Dear Gwendolyn:

I will call myself ‘no name’ because I don’t want other people I know to recognize that this is coming from me. This is the problem: I am in a social club and recently they made a new rule. Because of the fierce gossiping, we now all leave the gathering at the same time. This is fine with me because I know and have been told by fellow members of the club that I am talked about when I leave. I like the new rule.

Gwendolyn, not only people in the club talk about me, my co-workers, friends and even relatives seem to dislike me. It has now gotten to the point where each day I walk around feeling stupid.—‘No Name’



Dear No Name:

Several times you have written to me—using different names, but it’s you. I know it’s you. My advice cannot help because you like feeling down. That’s how some people are. However, let me tell you this: You do, indeed, have a problem but the solution is clear. The only way you can overcome the hurdles of life is to love yourself.

In your own words you said, “I feel stupid.” I now have a question for you. Why would you associate with people who make you feel like nothing? Why would you think club members leaving together will keep them from gossiping? Think about it. All they would do is go home and get on the telephone and gossip. Also, when at work, say only what needs to be said regarding work related issues—and for others (even relatives) say little or nothing at all.

No Name, never allow anyone to make you feel less than the person you know you are. Always hold your head high and walk with pride. If you allow this to continue, then you soon need to come to the realization that—-you are stupid.

(Do you have a son or grandson age 10-17? Help him to choose college not jail. Order ***DECISIONS In The Life Of A Growing Male Youth. For ordering information write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 (to receive a reply send a self-addressed stamped envelope) or e-mail her at: or visit her website at:

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