Just when I thought I had him—he left!

Dear Gwendolyn:


I was married to a wonderful man for 46 years. He is now deceased. I got involved with another man and after dating for about a year he had a heart attack. He underwent by-pass surgery. I took him in and took care of him. When he was able to take care of himself, he became distant towards me and moved out. He moved back to his apartment which was okay with me. He dropped all ties with me. I would call to check on him but he never returned the calls. He just said that he didn’t want to be a bother to anyone. He told me, “You live your life and I will live mine.”

Gwendolyn, I need your opinion. Should I try to stay in touch as a friend or just let go?—Shirley

Dear Shirley:

You mentioned that you had a wonderful husband for 46 years. Girl, slap yourself on the side of your face because you need a “wake-up” call. I hate to be the one to tell you but your husband may have been on the last train traveling your way. Good men don’t come in abundance—but bad men do.

Let me tell you this: When some people become ill, they become humbled and thankful for whatever is being done for them. They are most gracious. On the other hand, there are some people when they become ill, they become mean, evil and cruel.

As to your question about this man who will not return your calls, don’t try to force the issue as much as to be a friend. If he becomes ill again, let him go to someone else. This thing of being a part of your life when he needs you and then leaving when he doesn’t makes no sense at all. So, my opinion is to forget him and do it quick.

(Do you have a son or grandson age 10-17? Help him choose college not jail. Order “DECISIONS In The Life Of A Growing Male Youth.” Send $14.95 + $4 S/H to: G. L. Baines, P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066. Got a problem, e-mail her at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com or write to her at address above (to receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope.)

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