Adultery ruined my marriage!

(NNPA)—Dear Gwendolyn:

I was married to a wonderful man for 22 years. We have three children—ages 12, 9 and 7. He was a great husband, but something changed. Two years ago I discovered he had a mistress. At first I didn’t believe it. When I approached him, he politely slapped me to the floor.

Gwendolyn, there was a man on my job who had tried to court me for years. Being all heart broken, I started dating him.


Why do men become upset when their wife goes outside the marriage for love and affection?  My husband has moved on but not with the woman who was his mistress while married to me. This is how I figure: If a man can cheat, the woman can cheat.—Right?—Diane

Dear Diane:

The answer is no. Men seek unhappily married women and use them as a tool for fun and games. Apparently you fell into that pit of doom.

Let me tell you this: If married for 22 years, your husband is possibly approaching the big 5-0. In other words, frightened of getting old. There is a high chance you and your husband will not be able to mend this marriage. Oh, the two of you may go back together, but it won’t be the same–ever. Love is not turned on and off like a water fountain. If the two of you do not mend, then seek child support and try to give yourself and your children a happy life.

Diane, as to your question of, “If a man can cheat, so can his woman.” Let me inform you about the facts of life. A man can live a horrible life and fall deep into the gutter. But, think about it. Someone will come along, pull him out, wash and cut his hair, give him a shave, and dress him in nice clothing and Bingo, he is once again considered a man. However, when a woman falls into the gutter for whatever reason, she is not viewed the same. Help to her comes slow or doesn’t come at all. A man is a man, but society brands—the lady as a tramp.

(Got a problem, email her at: or write to her at address above [to receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope.])


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