Dear Gwendolyn:
(NNPA)—I am now at the point of not having any friends. This is my reason: Last year, I told my best friend that I was planning to leave my husband. I had told her to keep it a secret. Two months later, I received a call from another girlfriend letting me know that my best friend was all over town telling others my plans.
Sure enough, I left my husband and had told my best girlfriend that I was in love with my husband’s brother and was dating his cousin. My best girlfriend had also let the world know my business. I am not a bad person, but it may seem to be because I am courting two men at the same time. But, Gwendolyn, this has happened because my heart was broken. My husband is not a nice person.
So, you see, I don’t intend to have any more girlfriends no matter how nice and kind they may seem.—Julia
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Dear Julia:
Let me tell you this: You did not have a best girlfriend. In fact, she acted more like a stranger putting a knife in your back. And, when you think about it, a stranger would not likely do harm to you as your friend did.
Just because your husband is not a nice person gives you no reason to date his brother, his cousin, or any other men he knows or doesn’t know. You are actually making yourself be just as low in character as your husband. You cannot blame your girlfriend for telling your personal affairs. She would not have known your secret if you had not told her your secret. Anyway, Julia, the best way to keep a secret is to not tell the secret. My advice to you is to stop dating anyone at this point, especially multiple friendships at the same time. It is not a good thing. Even if it is only conversation and not physical, just concentrate on moving up—and moving on.
(Got a problem, e-mail her at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com or write to her at address above—to receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope.)
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