Dear Gwendolyn: For 37 years I have given my love to a man that still doesn’t seem to want me for his wife. The romance started years ago. For me, it was “love at first sight.” We dated for three years, he got married, got a divorce, and the rest of his life has been with me. Although, we never lived together. I thought this man had actually descended from Heaven when we started dating again. To me, every day was a holiday and every night was a celebration.
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Gwendolyn, how can some women get any man they want while other women cannot even get one? My mother used to tell me that I was throwing away my life. But one day she said, “It’s good you are happy with him.” Yes, I have put in the years but I am not sorry. However, I am at the crossroad of deciding to quit him or continue to court. I am 66 and he is 74. I have been happy all those years and I am happy now. What do you think I should do?—Brenda
Dear Brenda: Soon your eyesight will become dim and your bones will become stiff. Therefore, I think you and your friend should continue the courtship. Happiness is a blessing and it does not always come in the form of a marriage license. Ask some married women and they will verify that statement—big time. (Read “The Four Factors: Should You Stay, Go or Improve Your Relationship?” by Ron Gentile, PhD)
Let me tell you this: I don’t want to seem hurtful towards you, but you must be realistic. Sure, you could quit him and meet someone else—but if that happens, let him be younger than you. Girl, old age is for real. If you don’t believe it, visit your nursing home facilities. But even in those facilities, people fall in love and marry—even if a nurse has to hold their hands together because of their elderly age, muscles gone.
Brenda, you have already given your boyfriend most of your life. You might as well give him the remainder of it.
(To order books by Gwendolyn Baines, go to website: www.gwenbaines.com or e-mail her at: gwenbaines@hotmail.com or write to her at: P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 [To receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope.])
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