My lady friend has been confused!

(NNPA)—Dear Gwendolyn: I am 55 and my lady friend is 45. She had a child when we met and we have been together for 10 years, soon to be 11. I am the only father her daughter knows. Recently she has obviously distant herself from me.

Gwendolyn, she went on to explain that in our 10 year relationship there has been no engagement or marriage proposal. She said she feels I need to get someone else because she has put enough time into me. I told her that in those years she was always trying to get herself together. To me, she still is not together.


This is the funny part. She claims to be a preacher and has authored several books and written and recorded several songs. She has no degrees. The books and music went nowhere. My concern is why she wants to distance herself from me now. Do you think there is someone new? –Matthew

Dear Matthew: No, but there needs to be. You mentioned you were ready but she is not. How can you come up with that statement? You are not waiting for her to get herself together. From her ministry involvement to the involvement of book writing and music, this lady seems to have it going on. And, as to her books etc. going nowhere—how can they when she is dragging someone like you along? And by the way, you don’t need a degree to write. People who write have a gift.

Let me tell you this: She has waited ten years and that is too long. Don’t think of giving her an engagement ring or asking her to marry. You are not in her class and you take her career interests as a joke. No woman needs a man who cannot identify with her dreams and goals. I hate to sound harsh Matthew, but think about it. Men used to trade women like they trade their car—enjoy it until dents and scratches are noticeable, then they don’t want it. Well, it is a new day and women are not being held back letting life pass by—waiting for marriage.

(Got a problem? Don’t solve it alone. Write to Gwendolyn Baines at: P.O. Box 10066, Raleigh, N.C. 27605-0066 (To receive a reply, send a self-addressed stamped envelope). or email her at: gwenbaines@ and visit her website at:

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