Where Only the Truth Matters
• The Pittsburgh . . . oops, my bad again . . . your Pittsburgh Penguins are in trouble. I don’t know a damn thing about hockey, but I know that. (Hey, I told you from the gate only the truth matters.)
• Do – Not – Worry . . . your Pittsburgh Pirates will be alright, trust me. The problem is, they can’t sneak up on teams like they did last year. Teams are ready for them now. They’ll get it going again. (Yeah . . . and I also said, they would find that plane too.)
• Don’t let the green grass fool ya. The Heat will play the Pacers in the East for the #1 spot and the Spurs will own the West. (Yeah, and I also said they would find that plane too . . . huh?)
• In yet another unrelated non-sports item, here’s this. If ya think that you can attack a witness on the stand with an ink pen and come through that without a scratch . . . “well, somebody told you wrong!” Listen man, “they” only need a reason to shoot, no matter how small the reason. And to quote the great social activist Dick Gregory . . . “Maybe death is what you’re looking for!”
• The keeper’s of the castle, the one and only Champion Enterprises . . . the hardest working people in show business, bring you First Friday Fantasies starting Friday, May 2nd and continuing through till October and ya can “bet your last money it’s gonna be a stone gas honey” cause everybody’s going to be there. We got people coming from everywhere . . . Jodi Rieley, the Backstabbers, Mickey’s Monkey, My Girl, a Do Right Women and a Do Right Men and of course it’s not a ball of confusion without Papa and his Brand New Bag. Now those of you that are Superfly truly got that rap, but for you Sly Slick and Wickit folks, let me break in town for ya. Friday, May 2nd, the Brewstone Restaurant in Monroeville, William Penn Highway, across from Sheets – 8:00 p.m. till 2:00 p.m. – free parking – cash bar – cash kitchen till midnight – 50/50 – the legend D.J. Sly Jock – the Fabulous Allure Models – and special guest Pitt All-American Jennifer Bruce . . . Duquesne University legend and Boston Celtic draftee B.B. Flenory and 4-time Pittsburgh Steeler, Super Bowl Champion J.T. Thomas, and all this for only $10 at the door. Brought to you by the United Rays Corvette Club, Turning Corners Youth Organization and Penn Avenue McDonald’s. For more information, call (412) 628-4856. Now, let’s get this party started and dance to the break of dawn! (Ooohhh man I’m good!)
You Have Just Crossed the Finish Line
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