:10—ATTENTION . . . ATTENTION…ATTENTION! How would you like to own a brand new home for just $500 and a phone call? Here’s how. First, you buy indoor and outdoor paint with brushes, pans and all that goes with it= $200. Then you buy trash bags, Lysol, Mr. Clean, outdoor trash cans, steel wool and anything else you can clean with = $100. Now here’s the tricky part…measure any window that’s taped up or broken and replace it with a new one= $100, and buy some shrubs…roses…plants, etc. and cut the grass, “Please cut the grass” = $100. Now, here’s the best part, the phone call part. Call Goodwill and tell them to come get that broke down car in your driveway that will never, never, never ever run again and bam!!! You got a brand new house! (Come on Penn Hills people, and people everywhere, step up your game!)
:09—Is it possible that we’ve seen the best of Tiger Woods? I’m just askin’. Maybe all those women he was running with took everything out of him. Literally!
:08—You don’t need me to tell you. Greg Polanco is the real deal. He hit safely in his first 10 pro games. Yeah, that’s the real deal. Plus, the walk-off home run. My man!
:07—Speaking of the Pirates, and I was, I told ya they would level off. Now a game over 500. Watch out, here they come. A few more moves and adjustments in the bull pen, and playoffs here we come.
:06—One more thing about the “The Jolly Roger,” you better find a spot for Josh Harrison, aka “they.” And you better find it quick. He plays eight of the nine positions and better than some of your starters. (And I wouldn’ be surprised if he can pitch too.)
:05—Looks to me like Serena Williams needs a break that’s all. And I still say she’s too big. Drop about ten pounds of that muscle girl. I mean please! “Serena, don’t hit me again!”
:04—If you’re old enough to remember the doo-wop sound of Frankie Vallie and the Four Seasons, go see “Jersey Boys.” You’ll like the stroll down memory lane. I give it three basketballs
:03—You know the drill…First Friday Fantasy- Friday, July 4-—It’s the Annual All White Par-Tay (no, not just White people, you stupid)—Brewstone’s in Monroeville, next to Applebee’s—free parking—United Rays Presents Classic Car Cruise, all cars welcomed—$10 at the door—BYOB—The Master “Sly Jock” on the wheel—The Fabulous Allure Models- 50/50—prize for best dressed outfits – great food—Call 412-628-4856 or 412-287-8610, for more information. (And don’t forget Monroeville Fireworks Display at 10 p.m.)
:02—If anybody sees Fred Crawford, ask him to give a brotha a call. You know that Spurs-Heat thing. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
:01—Listen, if you’re very intelligent, have a great heart, and possess a fabulous personality and want to be a part of a new growing company, call Achieving Greatness Inc. right away at 412-628-4856. “Remember, the Greatness Lies Within You.”
~ GAME OVER ~
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