While a doctor or a lawyer will routinely ask you if you have an advance directive or living will, the conversation should truly start at home because it is not mainly about medical treatments or legal rights; it’s about making you the decision maker, it’s about your values, and it’s about what makes your life worth living.
For example, some people believe life is worth living only if they can feed, bathe, take care of themselves, or be free from pain. Others say life is worth living if they can talk to family and friends. Even some people say life is always worth living no matter how sick they may become. There are no right or wrong choices; what matters most is that you have taken the time to make choices and explain your choices to your loved ones.
While it is important to consider your values and what is important to you during the advance care planning process, it is just as important to spend time thinking about who you would choose to be your health care decision maker. This person could also be referred to as a health care agent or a durable medical power of attorney. Be careful not to confuse this with a financial power of attorney which is equally as important, but different.
Choose a decision maker wisely. You may choose your spouse, or your children, but it doesn’t have to be either. You could choose a friend or neighbor. Think about the people that mean the most to you. Who would you trust to:
• Make your wishes heard?
• Follow your wishes – whether or not they agree with them?
• Make sure that you get the care that you want, in the place that you want and have the people that are important to you by your side?
If you do not choose a decision maker and you become unable to make your own decisions, a decision maker will be chosen for you in an order determined by Pennsylvania law. In some cases this would have been the person you would have chosen anyway; however at other times, it may not be the person who knows you or your values best, and they may not know what your decisions would have been. In other words, the best person to make your health care decisions may not be the person that the Pennsylvania Law would appoint. So take the time to name a health care decision maker. Ask them if they would be willing to do this for you, and tell them your wishes.
(Donald D. Wolff Jr., Center for Quality, Safety, and Innovation at UPMC)
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