‘Hitman’s Bodyguard’ needs no guarding, and help Judge Woodruff claim victory! (Aug. 23, 2017)


:10—Steeler Time… No. 1; It’s that time, alright, and that means I am at my spot. And as I always tell ya…If I told you where I was, I’d have to kill ya. No. 2; For the record, don’t try to find me. I’ve got multiple stops. No. 3; I know it’s Atlanta and I know they went to the Big Dance and gave it away…But say it with me, boys and girls, “It’s only preseason. It’s only preseason.” And we’re playing guys you will never see again in life. No. 4; You only need to get a close-up shot of Martavis Bryant to know he’s been serious about making his comeback. No. 5; T.J. Watt’s the real deal as I told you. The bloodline is legit. Pay no mind to who starts…James Harrison will tell you it’s not who starts, it’s who finishes and how they finish!
:09—On the other side of the page…“Ya’ll” know the Pitt basketball season is coming back whether you want it to or not. I’m just sayin’!

BILL NEAL

:08—Speaking of basketball, here’s a long overdue shoutout and congratulations to T.J. McConnell. He of Chartiers Valley High School, Duquesne University and onto Arizona where he blew up and now with the Philadelphia 76ers. The ultimate achiever. He made it all the way and deserves everything that comes his way. I am proud to know him. Proud to say he played in the Connie Hawkins League. Proud most of all to know his wonderful and iconic family.
:07—Sit tight. Be patient and don’t worry. James Conner is the real deal at 6’2” and 230 pounds. He’s bigger than you thought when you watched him on TV at Pitt. He’ll do just fine until Le’Veon returns.
:06-Le’Veon will return, and for all you know-it-alls out there who keep wanting to know, “Why won’t Bell come to camp and take the $30 million guaranteed?” The answer is because $35 million is more! Duh!!! And don’t tell me you would play for less and yada, yada, yada. That’s why you’re pushing a broom now. (I’m sorry, my bad!)
:05—I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this. Mr. Doss has some real tight rules around here and Rob Taylor Jr. backs him up (You know, that new job thing). Anyway, if I was allowed to say it, I would remind you of the judgeship, Super Bowl champion, Steeler MVP greatness and all-around nice guy of one Dwayne Woodruff and remind you that his and our history is in your voting hand. Pennsylvania Supreme Court…right here…right now!
:04—What is it with these damn apes? They just won’t go away. Even I’m sick of them. And look, Hollywood, some of that stuff ain’t gonna happen, man. It just won’t. Hell, if it’s me, I just turn the blowtorch up on all that fur. Game over! And go see Logan Lucky. Enjoy and have some long overdue movie fun. It’s fun-nee! (Spoiler alert—Samuel L. “I’ll do any movie, anytime, anywhere, no matter how bad” Jackson in the Hitman’s Bodyguard is not a hit and needs no guarding.)
:03—Speaking of doing yourself a favor, you already know that the Mayweather-McGregor fight is a PR moneymaker that you and a bunch of other lollipops, aka all-day suckers, will buy into. But you could do a better thing and save some money. Pull up. Dial up. Pull out or go get the Ali-Frazier trilogy and be reminded of what true boxing was like. Ali vs. Frazier I, Ali vs. Frazier II and the legendary Thrilla in Manila. Mmmaaannn, that’s when greatness was great. Oh, by the way, don’t thank me. I’m here for you!
:02—I didn’t forget about ya, partner. Met my man, Charlie, in the Emergency Room last week. As I told ya my brother, you are now “In the Locker Room.” (Miss you and love you, Kenny Durrett)
:01—So you really think you got it, but you don’t. Need I remind you that year 1 you couldn’t find a parking spot down at the Blue Line Grille. Year 2 you and 99 others were left standing in the hallway trying to get in at the Holiday Inn, and last year you were mad cause the 749 people ahead of you got the last chicken wings. So, I’m telling you to lock this in for your own good. The Fourth Pittsburgh City League High School All-Sports Hall of Fame inductions, honoring the best of the best, Friday, October 6, 6 p.m. until pre-reception at the Savoy. All-City welcome. Welcome home. Meet and Greet, Cash Bar and Kitchen, $5 cover charge, Dress to Impress! Saturday, October 7, the Hall of Fame inductions, August Wilson Center, 6 p.m. reception, 7 p.m. awards, Savoy. Celaborate hors d’oeuvres spread, vendors, jazz, 50/50, cash bar, photo ops, $50 adults, $25 youth 12 and under. Go deep in the closet for this one. Call AGI at 412-628-4856 for info. (After party at the Savoy.) City League, it’s your time…It’s your turn!!!
:00—GAME OVER.
 
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