The Carr Report: Entanglement is a measure of the heart

by Damon Carr, For New Pittsburgh Courier

Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith and singer August Alsina are trending. They’re the topic of discussion. I’m a longtime fan of Will Smith. I’ve grown up watching him soar in his career. I followed him through his rap, TV, and movie career. I love his body of work. Jada Pinkett-Smith is one of my celebrity crushes. She’s nice to look at. She has a fun-loving personality. She’s amassed a great body of work herself. What I admire about both Will and Jada is despite their ascension to fame and stardom, they’ve always come across to me as down-to-earth people that everyday people could relate to. I don’t know a whole lot of about August Alsina other than his hit song that put him on the map entitled, “I luv this s#&*.” I loved that song!

The three of them find themselves in a quagmire of sorts. Things had gotten a little awkward and complicated. Jada described it as an “entanglement.” As it goes, the ordeal happened some years ago. But it was recently brought to the forefront. Based on the interview Will and Jada did on her show “Table Talk,” Will and Jada were experiencing turmoil within their relationship. They were not sure if their marriage would survive. During this time, August had taken ill. The Smith family offered to aid and assist him as he nurtured himself back to health. During this time, a romantic relationship ensued between August and Jada. August, as his hit song often repeated, “luv this chick.” He was all in. I can imagine him feeling played as Jada and Will decided to mend their relationship. I can imagine Will feeling hurt, devastated, and humiliated at the thought and sight of his wife in a relationship with August.

As for Jada, I can see how she could coin the word which has been popularized—“Entanglement,” to succinctly describe her situation. Entanglement is defined as a complicated or compromising relationship or situation.

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You can only be entangled in a relationship or situation if you care, for entanglement is a matter of the heart. If she didn’t care about August, she could have referred to it as a lapse in judgment, a weak moment, or a curiosity that was satisfied. She could have been dismissive and viewed it as something trivial that he took out of context. But she didn’t because she cared. Jada developed feelings for August. Although Jada’s and Will’s relationship was in turmoil, she still loved her husband. Jada struggled deciding to fight for her marriage or to flee to her romantic situation. It took her some time to process both situations and prioritize which was the most important to her. Both decisions were competing for her attention, time and heart. In the end, she chose to fight for her marriage. Regardless of how much fun this experience with August might have been, she prioritized her marriage over the relationship. Lesson to be learned from August, never make someone a priority, when you’re an option.

Can you relate to Jada? Have you ever been in an entanglement? It doesn’t have to be relational. I’m sure you have. All of us have experienced either a relationship or a situation that was compromising.We were all placed in a predicament where a decision had to be made between things we loved and cared about. We can hold on to some things —but something had to give and/or something had to be let go for us to create peace and progress within our life. We had to prioritize and make the hard decision. It could be something as simple as losing weight. We care about being healthy, strong, and being in good shape. We also care about, love and enjoy many of the high-calorie foods we eat, and the bad habits we do every day. It’s an entanglement. If you’re healthy, strong and in good shape, you prioritized eating right and exercising. If you’re out of shape and a little heavier than you desire to be, you prioritized maintaining bad eating and bad habits.

If you’re having problems getting forward traction financially, it’s because you’re in an entanglement with your money. The Bible teaches us, “Where your treasure is, there your heart shall be also.” In other words, how we prioritize and spend our money is a reflection of our heart’s desire. We have bills, debts, goals, dreams, and parental responsibility competing for our time, our attention, and our money. We care about all of them. We want to provide for ourselves and our children. We want to pay our bills on time. We want to obtain and maintain our own house and car. We want to spend money on fun things like entertainment and traveling. We want to give to our place of worship and other charitable endeavors. We want to save for college, retirement, and ultimately build wealth. But unfortunately, for most of us, it’s hard to do them all because our dollars and our time is limited.

I said it’s hard to do them all. I didn’t say it was impossible. Financially speaking, you may not be able to do everything at once. But you can certainly get out of the entanglement. It’s a matter of prioritizing and making the hard decisions to focus on one goal at a time.

(Damon Carr, Money Coach can be reached at 412-216-1013 or visit his website @ www.damonmoneycoach.com.)

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