The Carr Report: He bought his son McDonald’s! She’s not loving it!

by Damon Carr, For New Pittsburgh Courier

He bought his son McDonald’s! She’s not loving it!

One of the leading news stories last week was about a mother, a father, a child, McDonald’s, and three other siblings. Within the Black community, this story garnered more conversation than the Roe v. Wade overturn, R. Kelly being sentenced to 30 years in prison, The BET Awards and inflation combined. This story went viral-viral. Everybody had an opinion on this topic. There were countless videos, memes, and radio discussions revolving around who’s wrong here, mom or dad?

For the few of you living under a rock in a cave who’s completely unaware of this story, here’s a summary. A single mother of four children has multiple baby daddies. Her youngest child’s father shows up to the house with McDonald’s only for his son. Apparently he’s been showing up with food only for his son for some time now. She’s fed up! She decides to video the conversation between him and her. He arrives with a McDonald’s bag and drink in hand. Immediately, she lets him have it. She stated, you only brought food for one child. I have 3 other children. You should bring food for all my children. I’m not going to let him eat McDonald’s in front of his siblings. He responds, those are not my children. Those are your kids. I’m only responsible for feeding my own. He tells her to bring his son downstairs. He’ll let him eat in the car. There’s ongoing arguing back and forth. She eventually asks him to give her the food. She then throws it on the ground. She posted this video on social media. Social media went HAM.

Below you’ll see comments about this video from my Facebook Group. I’ll weigh in at the end.

It’s a competition. Me and my kids vs. them other baby daddies and their kids.

~ Kenneth

I understand where both are coming from. My first wife already had two kids when I met her. I have always treated them like my own even after my first two were born. I wouldn’t want my child’s siblings to resent him/her.  If I’m bringing McDonald’s everyone is getting McDonald’s

~Terrance

 

It’s his fault. He chose to plant his seed in that situation. I don’t understand the mindset of most men. When you put sex in the mix, women become illogical quickly.

~Antman

 

It’s not his responsibility!  It would be nice if he would’ve bought all the kids McDonald’s—but it’s not on him. Those are her kids. She’s a bad example of a mother.

~ Melissa

 

I definitely wouldn’t bring food for one child because the others could resent him.  That’s not what I would do. She should have let him take his kid like he asked.

She had the nerve to say “you know I don’t get my food stamps until the 11th!” That’s not his problem! If the mom can’t take care of her kids based on her income, child support, and/or government assistance then maybe the child should be living full time with his dad and visiting her.

~ Jessica

 

In my heart I am going to feed all the kids but my wallet isn’t always set up for that so there may be situations where I can only provide for mine. I would be more understanding if she had one other child but she had 3 other children. She’s wrong, petty, and trifling!

~ Kathy

 

With three other baby daddies there should be a refrigerator and a freezer full of food. He can’t claim those other children on his income taxes so anything he might do for them is way above his level of responsibility. I’m not saying I would handle that situation the same way, but (some) women force a brother to handle things the way they do ‘cause of their history.

~Manual

 

That’s not his responsibility. She or their fathers need to step up for her other kids.

~Nafeesa

 

Whenever I drop my kids off, I make sure to stop at a food place or the store. I ALWAYS tell them to buy their little sister something because she’ll hit the roof! But that’s only one more kid. So it’s no problem. But three more? He should’ve just picked his son up and ate with him at McDonald’s.

~Cedrick

 

She could have asked him to get the other kids something to eat and pay him for it when he gets there. That’s what I would have done. He’s not obligated to buy her other kids something to eat.

~Latisha M

 

They’re not in a relationship. I can see every once in a while but that’s absolutely asinine of her to expect him to take care of her other kids ALL the time.

~ Ed

 

Why isn’t she exposing the other fathers for not feeding their children? Some women can give all women a bad rap. This is a lesson for people having children with multiple partners.

~Michelle

 

I have one child. My ex husband had 4. If his kids are anywhere around I have to buy 5 meals instead of 1. I knew exactly where their mothers were and that was not my concern. We gotta be more concerned about the kids they can’t help the fact that they have irresponsible parents.

~Marnie

 

Schedule a time for lunch and call all the children’s fathers and have them all bring food for their child. Or, as a mother who’s body it is and chose to have all these children, go out and make something happen so your kids can eat.

Jay Cee

 

OMG! Why can’t she get on the dads of the others to bring something? She could easily tell the father, “Thanks!” Then put the food up, call those other dads, get them to Doordash some food. When the food gets there, feed them all at once.” Problem solved!

I would say that he was being irresponsible and being a poor example of a man when he impregnated a woman that he had no intentions on marrying. He was reckless with his seed. He’s not responsible for those other children. 

~Praytor

 

Her thought process is incredible. She has more than one other father to her children. She’ll be the one screaming, my body, my choice. She’s choosing to be irresponsible.

~Darnell

I blame him for having a kid with a hood rat. He should have known better

~Steve

 

Damon here: With single parenting and blended families being “The New Normal,”  their experience can serve as education to us all. They’re both wrong! They’re both right!

She’s wrong for expecting him to be responsible for bringing food for all of her children. She’s right to protect her other young, impressionable children’s feelings. This can lead to them feeling left out and unwanted by their biological father—creating resentment towards the sibling in question.

He’s right. He’s only responsible for his child. He’s wrong and inconsiderate not to understand how it would make the other children feel. If he didn’t want to or is unable to provide for all the children, just pick his child up and feed him.  When he returns, let her know he ate.

Children are innocent. They don’t fully understand the messes we create as adults. We have to be adults and think how our actions or lack thereof can negatively impact the children.

 (Damon Carr, Money Coach can be reached @ 412-216-1013 or visit his website @ www.damonmoneycoach.com)

 

 

 

 

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