For Black women, it’s important to ‘Heal. Evolve. Restore.’

DOMINIQUE BROWN SHARED HER MOVING STORY TO HUNDREDS OF BLACK WOMEN DURING THE JULY 31 EVENT AT POINT STATE PARK. (PHOTO BY ROB TAYLOR JR.)

Bettering mental health the focus of hula hoop event

 

Losing one child is hard enough.

Losing a second child is even harder.

That’s what happened to Dominique Brown. The East Hills resident fought back tears and instead, stood strong as she told her story, as more than 150 Black women held on to her every word.

The event at Point State Park, July 31, was entitled, “H.E.R.,” for “Heal. Evolve. Restore.” With every passing year, it’s becoming more normal, more accepted to speak openly about mental health in the Black community. “H.E.R.” was started a few years ago by Dreamz Hair Salon and Barber Shop (Homestead) owner Tenel Dorsey, who knows all too well the pain that some Black women are experiencing; the pain masked by a trip to the hair salon to get “made up.”

“At a hair salon, we make you feel good for that moment, but then we (Black women) still have the internal issues,” Dorsey told the New Pittsburgh Courier. “It’s almost been like a secret society, because nobody wants to say, ‘I’m so broken…’ I feel the responsibility to serve a different purpose.”

GRACIA DORSEY, DOMINIQUE BROWN, TENEL DORSEY, EBONY JOHNSON. DORSEY FOUNDED “HEAL.EVOLVE. RESTORE.” IN 2020. THE HULA HOOP EVENT WAS THE FIRST OF ITS KIND, JULY 31. (PHOTOS BY ROB TAYLOR JR.)

Delayed an hour or so due to the usual Downtown shower near the rivers, the “H.E.R.” Hula Hoop event went on as planned. There was music, a lot of exercise with the hula hoops, and speakers on everything from financial literacy to mental health. The event was meant to bring Black women together as one, with the intent on “healing” from internal issues or problems, “evolving” into a better person because of that healing, and “restoring” oneself into the strong Black woman they were meant to be.

Without giving too much information out, Dorsey said one of the main issues her fellow Black women confide in her about is their body.

“People are going and buying bodies,” Dorsey said, “but it’s really the soul that needs the surgery.”

Dorsey added: “Let’s talk about the real problem.”

NORANNE YARBOUGH, LEFT, said that “oftentimes women are the backbone of their family, they take on a lot and they’re pouring into everyone else, they often don’t get a place where they, themselves, can get poured into.”

Noranne Yarbough, of West Mifflin, was one of the attendees. She said the COVID-19 pandemic brought death, job loss, isolation, and as a result, trauma. “There was a lot of therapy and healing needed,” she said. “Oftentimes women are the backbone of their family, they take on a lot and they’re pouring into everyone else, they often don’t get a place where they, themselves, can get poured into.”

Thus, with this event, Yarbough told the Courier, it continues “this movement of women building each other up. Black women, in general, coming to gether, promoting each other’s businesses; just creating a community of authenticity.”

KIELLE DEANDA, SAVANNA NAYLOR, AND DONTEYAH LAWHORN ATTENDED THE HULA HOOP EVENT, “H.E.R,” JULY 31.

For East Liberty resident Savanna Naylor, she said she’s spending each day “paying more attention to myself, embracing and being aware of what I’m experiencing,” whether it’s good or bad. She attended the “H.E.R.” Hula Hoop event with friends Kielle Deanda and Donteyah Lawhorn, both Homewood residents.

“I’m a firm believer that when like-minded souls are together, powerful things can happen,” Deanda added. “On my journey of discovering myself, I discovered how I was lacking in my feminine energy. We all have feminine and masculine energy within us, and I think, especially in the Black community, a lot of women are in survival mode, meaning they’re in their masculine energy.”

In a National Health Interview Survey report from 2018, African Americans were 1.5 times more likely than Whites to report feeling sad most or all the time. Within the Black community, the survey, commissioned by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, found that Black women were 1.8 times more likely to report sadness most or all the time than Black men, and 2.4 times more likely than Black men to report feeling hopeless more or all the time. And several national studies have consistently reported that Black women don’t get the help they need as much as White women when it comes to mental health.

QUAILA WHITE, LEFT, told the New Pittsburgh Courier it was important for her and her friends to attend the hula hoop event. A true time to come together.

“I talked to the women about giving themselves permission to give them the space to heal,” said Jessica Gurley, LCSW, owner of Social Work Consulting and Counseling, LLC and Mental Health T-shirts. “Ninety percent of what we do is unconscious and done without thinking and therapy can help with this. I reinforced that therapy is for everyone, it’s not a luxury or not for those with traumatic events going on. I reminded them that therapy can be used to reduce confusion, develop boundaries, create self-care routines or to help them be more aware of their unconscious thoughts that they act on daily.”

Gurley, a member of the Courier’s Fab 40 Under 40 for 2022, feels as though Black women are struggling with their mental health “because they are raised and socialized to do it all and do it all strong, even through exhaustion. Many are heads of their households and have to choose between self-care and time spent doing, working, housekeeping, nurturing and parenting. They are not raised to put themselves first. They constantly need reminded that self-care is not selfish and saying yes to everyone means constantly saying no to themselves. I empowered them to say yes to themselves more and to find more balance.”

Everyone was attentive to Gurley’s words as she spoke. Some people, however, got emotional when Brown spoke. Brown, who is Dorsey’s sister, never thought she would need to “Heal, Evolve and Restore…”

“…Until 2018 when my firstborn was murdered,” Brown told the women. “In 2019, as I’m still trying to deal with the death of my firstborn (Jo’Markius Fuller), my 10-year-old (Jonathan Cooper) committed suicide in our bathroom.”

Brown said that because there was no “manual on how to grieve,” she stayed to herself much of the time following the deaths of two of her children, and finally realized that she needed to “Heal, Evolve and Restore” so that she could be strong to be present for her other three children.

“’H.E.R.’ is very important to me as I continue this journey,” Brown said, as she’s recently reached out to a psychiatrist. “It’s hard. It’s super hard. I’m still dealing with it, still learning how to grieve and help my children.”

During the event, Brown said another woman came up to her and said her 16-year-old son is going through what Brown’s 10-year-old went through. “He lost his brother and now he’s closed up in his room and he won’t come out unless he has to eat or for hygiene,” Brown said. “I said to please get him help…so many women have said that my story inspired them. I’m going to get the help I need. I didn’t realize I’m helping women by sharing my story.”

Dorsey told the Courier she hopes the women who attended the hula hoop event understand that it’s “OK to heal.”

She added: “You heal a woman, you heal a nation.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

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