Not too long ago the blogosphere was up in arms about an incident that occurred between Keke Palmer and her then-boyfriend, Darius Jackson. Basically, Keke attended an Usher concert while wearing an outfit he considered inappropriate.
As often happens with Usher’s concerts, Keke was welcomed on stage and danced seductively with the seasoned entertainer. Though people say that she was “grinding” on him, no such thing happened. Their “parts” never came together, and when the song ended, they separated without further contact.
Keke’s boyfriend, Darius Jackson, had a fit! He busted her out on social media for wearing the revealing outfit and attempted to publicly shame her for behavior he felt was unbefitting a “mother.” She had previously given birth to a child with Darius.
Interestingly, there were a lot of people who saw through his antics, and did not understand why he had to wait until she was in the public eye to shame her. Why hadn’t he said something about what she was wearing before she left home?
Because of Darius’ decision to publicly attempt to shame Keke, there were women who expressed the thought that something deeper was happening between the couple. They saw his actions as domineering and controlling, exhibiting a definite “red flag.” After a while, however, things died down, and Keke was later seen celebrating her birthday with Darius.
Recently, the “fit hit the proverbial shan” again, when it was revealed that Keke took out a restraining order on Darius due to allegations that he had been abusing her, both mentally and physically. Moreover, she requested full custody of their son Leodis, claiming she feared for his life.
She was granted the restraining order and temporary custody, based on actual evidence presented from her home’s security cameras. It was evident that Darius broke into her home (they were not living together) knocked her down, took her cell phone, threw her car keys into the bushes and smashed her prescription eyeglasses, among other things.
On another occasion, she had video and photographic evidence that he attacked her previous to that time. The situation was so bad that Keke’s mom, Sharon Palmer, broke character to respond to a text that Darius’ brother wrote, which seemingly cast a very negative light on Keke.
The mother was outraged, and talked about how she told the brother (Sarunas) about the abuse during the previous year, and that he said, in so many words, he “used to be like that.” He later retracted his text and denied making that admission.
Most people who are aware of Keke Palmer say that she has been one celebrity who has managed to avoid public drama until the current situation. In spite of this, however, many, MANY observers, both men AND women, are looking at the situation with jaundiced perception. They are blaming the victim.
Some said there is no “proof” that she experienced what she said she did. A lot of the men, especially, don’t believe her, and when they do, they often say that men experience domestic violence too; that there are two sides to any story; and that Keke is not “perfect.” They are not satisfied with the still photos of the abuse and want to see the videos!
It has long been known that a lot of women are not believed when they experience domestic abuse, and people tend to place blame on them for not leaving the abuser. In Keke’s case, not only did she leave, but she took her evidence to court. A trial is scheduled for the near future. But a lot of people are still reluctant to believe her side of the story even with the visual evidence.
Herein lies a quandary. If people continue to blame women for their abuse or deny that it has taken place, our community will continue to spiral into a cesspool of dysfunction. This blame-the-victim mentality has got to stop, because the whole family and community suffer when it is allowed to continue! Domestic Violence victims are “darned if they do and darned if they don’t!” A Luta Continua.
Reprinted from the Chicago Crusader
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