:10–You don’t have to take my word for it, not that I would ever lie to you…unless I had to! But I told you three things about your Pittsburgh Steelers that now, after one game, you can clearly see. #1, to restate the obvious, the make-believe offensive coordinator had to go! #2, No running back, including Jim Brown, the greatest of them all, can run through a line where there is no hole, period, end of conversation! Now that you have a decent O-Line, you see the waters begin to part. #3, Kenny Pickett…yes, the same guy who finished his career as Pitt’s all-time leader in passing yards, pass completions, and total offense, just to name a few of his ten records, as well as an ACC Championship and Heisman Trophy candidate, has shown you evidence lately he will be the Steeler franchise quarterback.
:09–Hey, all that stuff I just said…yeah, I told ya so! And yes, I am that I told ya so guy!
:08–Speaking of I told ya so, to my good buddy Officer Rick “AKA Ricky” Murphy, I enjoyed taking your money. My bad, but the guy with the ink pen gets the braggin’ rights.
:07–To be clear about that O-Line, they are a long way from home. When you have to flip your #1 draft selection tackle to the left side… the blind side…cuz he’s that good, to make things work, you know you have a problem to fix.
:06–Anybody out there listening…hello, anybody? Well look, do me a favor and get Pressley Harvin III the Greyhound Bus Station phone number. Mannnn, he’s got to go. There’s a one legged guy out kicking him! What? OK, my bad again.
:05–This just in. If you’re wondering why the D-Line is now starting to live up to their rep…it’s because Cam Heyward is back. He’s that good!
:04–To that point, they’ve had linebacker issues and it continues to be a concern, not a problem. GET THAT FIXED AND GET MINKAH FITZPATRICK BACK, NOW WE’VE GOT A PAR-TAY!!!
:03–For my money, the toughest guy on the Steeler roster is Coach Danny Smith. A few weeks ago he got run over by a herd of human mass…got right up chewing his gum, torn rotator cuff and all, and never missed a beat. Said he’ll get it fixed when the season’s over.
:02–Soooo, you’re wondering why you haven’t heard George Pickens complain anymore? You know why, it’s called “Son, sit down, let me talk to ya a minute!” All the ballers out there know what I am saying. We’ve all had that sit down—come to Jesus— my way or the highway speech!
:01–You thought I was going to let you go this one, didn’t you, Jerry “Cool Breeze” Mason? They are not going to sit their #1 draft pick, Najee Harris, down and make Jaylen Warren the starter. Harris, Alabama’s third all-time rusher (3,843) and second in all-purpose yards (4,624). That is nothing to sneeze at, boys and girls. Add to the mix that every team in the NFL wishes they HAD A ONE-TWO PUNCH LIKE THAT. IT AIN’T BROKE, IT JUST NEEDED FIXIN!
:00–GAME OVER.
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