Tanisha Bowman, of the North Side, a palliative care social worker for Butler Health System and a “death walker,” walks amongst the old graves in St. Mary’s Cemetery on March 12, in the Butler County community of Herman. Bowman frequently visits the cemetery and a nearby waterfall to be grounded in nature, connect with herself, and gather messages before her work with the dying in Butler. (Photo by Stephanie Strasburg/PublicSource)
From green burial to glass orbs containing ashes, the norms of funerals and burials are broadening as religious affiliation declines.
by Meg St-Esprit, PublicSource
In Janice Perkins’ final days of life, she let her family know her last wishes: cremation, no viewing; a celebration and sharing of memories; and most surprising to her family, a little prayer.
Perkins wasn’t very religious and neither is her extended family.
Her son Raymond Robinson recalls occasionally going to church as a child, but said he told his mother he was no longer interested around age 11 or 12. “So I stopped going to church after that. But she also stopped going,” he said.
So what to make of that prayer? The family speculates that Janice was trying to offer comfort to her loved ones within the framework of the traditional funerals she herself had attended.
“It was more of, like, ‘I want to do something that’s caring for the people that are sad, and this might be of help to them,’” said her daughter-in-law Danielle Graham Robinson.
Maria St. Clair, left, assistant manager at Penn Forest Natural Burial Park, and Laura Faessel, park manager, put dirt in the grave of a newly interred body at the park, on Wednesday, March 13, 2024, in Penn Hills. The two trim the surrounding roots for tree health and line the grave with straw. Bodies are neither embalmed nor in a casket, instead shrouded in a white sheet. (Photo by Stephanie Strasburg/PublicSource)
Perkins’ family is one of many Pittsburgh households wrestling with the intersection of evolving spiritual beliefs and death care. According to a 2021 survey by Pew Research, 3 in 10 American adults are religiously unaffiliated. Data compiled by Pew Research about the Pittsburgh metro region found that 50% of adults in the region describe religion as “very important” and nearly 20% consider themselves not religious.
Shifts in faith and worship mean families as well as businesses related to death and dying have had to alter their approaches.
Perkins died from cancer on Christmas Eve of 2023. She was 72.
In lieu of a funeral, the family is planning a celebration of life in late March. Perkins just wanted her loved ones to spend time together and to receive glass orbs containing her ashes. Her family also discovered that Perkins kept every single funeral card she received throughout her life, so they incorporated a take-home keepsake into her memorial service. Her most popular recipe — a corn casserole that became a staple at family events — has been printed on a dish towel. Friends and family will also enjoy “Janice-inspired activities,” like doing puzzles as they eat and share memories.
“It was a rough passing,” said Robinson. “I’d rather the last images and thoughts be about these positive aspects of her life. … So whether it’s funny, meaningful, powerful, whatever it is, [it’s] an opportunity for people to hear about my mom.”
‘More like a spa?’
At Pittsburgh Cremation and Funeral Care in McMurray, Carrie Majumder works in preneed, which means she walks individuals through planning their own funeral and burial.
Majumder and her colleagues have seen a drastic change in funeral planning over the last several years. Notably, people opt to have their service at the funeral home instead of a house of worship.
“It’s more of a celebration of life,” said Majumder. “We have a lot of people who choose to have a nondenominational clergy or they just have somebody who is part of the family and might read a passage from the Bible or say some prayers,” but religion isn’t as central as it used to be. Crystals and other metaphysical objects have become more commonplace.
People are no longer interested in somber, dark experiences and the classic caricature of an undertaker. Their funeral home, woman-owned and operated, has intentionally created a space that is bright and welcoming.
“I’ve had people come in and say, ‘Oh, this is more like a spa,’” said Majumder. “We don’t have the old velvet curtains, old flowers and things like that. It’s more a casual atmosphere — caring, calming, we accommodate for a family’s needs.”
Majumder said they’ve also seen a sharp rise in cremations. Data from the North American Cremation Association shows the rate of cremation has nearly doubled in the past two decades. Cost is one factor fueling that shift, but so is decreasing religiosity. People just aren’t as concerned about what will happen to their physical body once they are gone.
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