How many hats have you worn over the years? Mom, daughter, employee, caretaker, nanna, aunt? And so many other unnamed labels…
Have you ever thought about who you are minus those titles? Like who are you besides someone who gives to, takes care of, or deposits into another?
Who are you beyond being the receptionist at your office, or the administrative assistant, or the program officer now that that work is behind you for whatever reason. If you haven’t figured that out and are still waking up every day in “nurse or g-ma mode,” then you are probably in a bit of a pickle trying to find yourself underneath the layers of who you once were. Well, it is time to be you! The question may seem complicated, but it isn’t.
Mental health and happiness are definitely linked to the importance of doing what you love. Research from the Stanford Center on Longevity shows that retirees who engage in purposeful, self-selected activities experience 55 percent lower depression rates and 40 percent higher overall life satisfaction compared with retirees who are disengaged. And a 2020 Harvard Study of Adult Development—which is one of the longest-running studies on happiness—found that people who maintain meaningful engagement and relationships after retirement stay happier, healthier, and more optimistic—even more than those with higher income and status.
Minus all the labels, you get the opportunity to come into your own, whatever that means for you. Your next chapter is created for you by you. Did you think that after those labels there was nothing? There is quite a bit! God created us as multidimensional beings; able to be what was needed at the time. And he also endowed us with the power to expand our capacity. Now is the time to take advantage of all the opportunities that are laying around. With all your previous titles no longer on you (most of which were thrust upon you), you get to decide what you’ll call yourself. You can decide to take up piano and call yourself a “musician” now, or you can start painting and call yourself an “artist.”
I actually have a close acquaintance who retired from work in college admissions, took up substitute teaching, retired from that and randomly decided to start playing the flute—she was well past 50 when she made that decision. She became so proficient, she formed a partnership with a guitarist and they began performing at weddings, banquets, putting on performances at libraries and more. About 15 years have passed since she took up the flute, and in that time she has written two books and added the Steel Pan to instruments she plays, and doing well with all of these new endeavors. No longer called an admissions counselor by someone else, she calls herself an author and a musician.
Another friend I know retired early as an executive assistant with a Fortune 500 corporation—she had a health issue, and it would have been easier to be at home caving into her condition. But she refused to do that. Instead, she invested in equipment that would allow her to conduct her business where she designed programs, flyers, souvenir booklets, business cards, note cards, and all kind of graphic designs. By doing so, she achieved three things; it empowered her spirit, provided the opportunity for personal fulfillment, generated additional income for herself, and allowed her to be of service to others. She basically supports people administratively. It’s work she does from home, is passionate about it, and is excellent at her craft. And as a result, she is shining in her next chapter.
Now as you shed your previous labels, you turn the page to your next chapter. You can now finish the book of poetry, you can join a community theater, and if you aren’t artistically inclined you can choose some other area you are drawn to—perhaps tutor someone struggling with literacy—the list is endless. These are realistic pursuits that have nothing to do with age (but then very little does, we just say it does—things like, “oh I am too old for this or that”).
Frequently we are hesitant to turn to the next chapter and what’s worse is that we often end up actually trying to recycle those hats we used to wear. Why? Mostly because we are used to being in that “doing for others” space, and even as tedious as it may have become, we are comfortable; there is comfort in the familiar, creating a barrier to stepping away from those shackles. The question becomes, how you get past those barriers. The first step is to give yourself permission to create a new label for yourself; remember, you owe no one any explanations. Next is to get past the fear of embracing your next chapter. It is fear of the unknown, and of stepping away from your comfort zone. You’ll be surprised to see how quickly the fear leaves once you are there. Cease the second-guessing, you’ve lived long enough to trust that either way it goes, you will be fine. Making a pivot is always an option.