by The Field Negro,
It’s about that time field hands. Time to reveal my infamous list of the ten most influential and powerful House Negroes in America.
So without further ado, let’s get to it. (Not necessarily in order of importance)
1. Clarence Thomas. (I know I said that this list is not necessarily in order of importance, but it would be harder to make a case for a more powerful House Negro than Uncle Clarence. This Negro sits on the highest court in the land, and he has been been making rulings to enact laws that would strip rights away from regular folks for years.)
2. Daniel Cameron. (This Negro has some things in common with Uncle Clarence, which tends to shed some light on his self- hatred. Anywhoo, if you didn’t catch his Me is different from them other Negroes Massa speech at the RNC, you might have seen him on stage making excuses for the state killing of a young Black woman as Kentucky’s state Attorney General. Mitch McConnell apparently groomed this dude to be his own personal Stephen for years to come. He is off to a great start.)
3. Jason Whitlock. ( Jason is that Negro who thinks that he is smarter than the rest of us Negroes, and he believes that he can always prove it by coming up with a contrarian position on issues that effects us Black folks. Particularly in the world of sports. He is a poor journalist whose only claim to fame is being hated on by every Black athlete in America.
4. Candace Owens. (The words race traitor comes to mind when I think about this sister. She is an activist for Donald trump, which is like saying that she is a turkey who loves Thanksgiving. She has zero intellectual skills, and even less logical thinking abilities, and yet white folks in certain quarters love her because they can always use her as that one Black person who agrees with their backwards positions on issues of race. Candace used to be on the other side of the ideological spectrum, until she decided that there were too many folks to compete with, and there was more money to be made jigging in the house..
5. Terry Crews. (This Negro wanted us declare that Black lives are not better. Duh! I swear some Negroes just don’t get it.)
6. Kanye West. ( I almost feel bad for putting this Negro on this list because of his mental health issues. Almost. Sadly, his dangerous game of casting himself as a third party candidate for president, when he knows all that is at stake in this upcoming election, says to me that he isn’t as crazy as we all think he is. He is smart enough to know just how much to jig.)
7. Charles Barkley. (Charles confuses me. Sometimes he acts like he wants to get out of the house and get down with the rest of us in the fields, and then he says some dumb s**t like Breonna Taylor’s case is different than George Floyd’s case, and he doesn’t want to”lump them together”. What?! All that casino smoke must be finally getting to Chuck.)
8. Stacey Dash. Stacey is another one of these white apologists who has gotten more famous for being a House Negro than for being what she is supposed to be doing in life, which is act. Ironically, her biggest role was in a movie called Clueless. Now that’s fitting.
9. Diamond & Silk. (Cooning is a lost art, but these two are here to bring it back.)
10. Herman Cain. (I know that he is no longer with us, and I hate to speak ill of the dead. But come on Herman, when you give up your life to be in the house, you deserve to be on this list.)